Hello Everyone,
I'm curious to see what you all think of this situation - it is not a big deal to me, I'm quite used to this kind of stuff, but I would like to kow if you feel the same way as I am?
New restaurant opened this month. I am their house dancer, as they came to me over 6 months ago to be their dancer (which, I felt was an honor and a wonderful thing). So I've been dancing there, a week ago we had live music, lots of people. A local dancer is there with her friends, I talked to her, since I knew her and she is very sweet.
After my show I see her dancing with the audience in her hipscarf and playing her zills. Ok, all is fine, a little annoying with all the zills, and one of the audience member asks me : what is she trying to do ? to show that she's a belly dancer? Is she trying to prove something?
But I didn't care, I thought it was funny. I found a composite card of her in the office. And later I found a STACK of business cards of her at the front desk!! We had flyers promoting the restaurant (I made them), the restaurant's business cards, ttheir menu, the DJ's flyers, my business cards, musicians, etc, all who were perfoming there. She was a customer! How does she have the nerve to put a stack of her cards on the counter? I'm talking about 30 of them.
She definitely didn't ask the owner if she could do so, becaue when I "innocently" pointed out : "oh look, she left her cards" he cursed in Arabic and threw all of them away.
I am not upset about this, because I feel that I have a good relationship with the owners, and I feel secure about my position there. But I feel that it is absolutely unethical and unprofessional for a dancer to do this. And you can rule out the possibility that she didn't know because she's new - she's been dancing for 20 years!
So what do you guys think?
I'm curious to see what you all think of this situation - it is not a big deal to me, I'm quite used to this kind of stuff, but I would like to kow if you feel the same way as I am?
New restaurant opened this month. I am their house dancer, as they came to me over 6 months ago to be their dancer (which, I felt was an honor and a wonderful thing). So I've been dancing there, a week ago we had live music, lots of people. A local dancer is there with her friends, I talked to her, since I knew her and she is very sweet.
After my show I see her dancing with the audience in her hipscarf and playing her zills. Ok, all is fine, a little annoying with all the zills, and one of the audience member asks me : what is she trying to do ? to show that she's a belly dancer? Is she trying to prove something?
But I didn't care, I thought it was funny. I found a composite card of her in the office. And later I found a STACK of business cards of her at the front desk!! We had flyers promoting the restaurant (I made them), the restaurant's business cards, ttheir menu, the DJ's flyers, my business cards, musicians, etc, all who were perfoming there. She was a customer! How does she have the nerve to put a stack of her cards on the counter? I'm talking about 30 of them.
She definitely didn't ask the owner if she could do so, becaue when I "innocently" pointed out : "oh look, she left her cards" he cursed in Arabic and threw all of them away.
I am not upset about this, because I feel that I have a good relationship with the owners, and I feel secure about my position there. But I feel that it is absolutely unethical and unprofessional for a dancer to do this. And you can rule out the possibility that she didn't know because she's new - she's been dancing for 20 years!
So what do you guys think?
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Re: What do you think of this?
Sun, April 20, 2008 - 9:48 PMI think you were pretty professional about it. You pointed out the business cards to the owner and it was definitely his (her?) call to throw them out. That there tells me how much he supports you and wants YOU as his dancer. I'm guessing the question is, do you approach or otherwise contact this dancer re: HER professionalism (or in this case lack there of?) It's almost too bad that the owner threw the cards out, because you could have given them back to her and told her the owner did not give his permission for her advertising and so you volunteered to return them to her.
Sorry, I have no advice to give here. If you approach her, she'll probably think you're insecure and jealous, but if you don't, she'll think her behavior is ok. Rock and a hard place indeed. -
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Re: What do you think of this?
Sun, April 20, 2008 - 11:19 PMI wasn't going to approach her, because I also agree that it wold like I'm insecure.
What is even funnier, that before my sho, when I was walking around greeting everyone (I knew so many people, and a lot of Arabs, whic h was great) i talked to her shortly.
I don't know how, but somehow the cattiness of belly dancers came up. She brought up a local dancer, whi we agreed that is very nice and not sneaky, and she mentioned another local dancer (I know her as well) and complained that she never invited her to dance at the places she dances at. I guess this was in relation to how she was nice to the other lady but that was never reciprocated.
So i was laughing a little when I found her cards, because I was thinking: well, if this is what you do, no one will ask you to perform, not me, for sure!
I was just very surprised, because she is known for her nice and sweet personality, and I didn't think she would do this.
But owners always pick up on this kind of stuff, and they don't appreciate this. One other dancer called him a long time ago, said that I told her abou the place and she used my name that we dance together, she's my friend, etc, and if I am not available she can dance.
The owner called me and told me what happened. He told me that he thought something was up, and told the dancer that he already has me, and doesn't need anyne else. (which I couldn't believe, but it was true).
ay ay ay - too much drama, it never stops
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Re: What do you think of this?
Sun, April 20, 2008 - 10:49 PM<eyes rolling>...Well that was desperate of her wasn't it? I guess that people like her are always going to be around and that they really do believe that this kind of tactic is what gets them the gigs. Too bad they don't realize how pathetic they appear. People like this have absolutely no shame. -
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Re: What do you think of this?
Wed, April 23, 2008 - 11:54 AM"Well that was desperate of her wasn't it?"
Very.
To the OP: you handled this VERY professionally. Good for you.
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Re: What do you think of this?
Mon, April 21, 2008 - 3:41 AMI* think that this dancer is not as nice as she appears to be. I think people like her pretend to be nice so that they can be appalled when you call them on their behavior and play the innocent card. I think she was definitely gunning for your gig and would have taken it had it been offered- thinking nothing of you. I'd be pleasant when she's around, but keep your distance. Normally I am all for confronting people on their behavior, but I think it would be a waste of breath in this case, so I wouldn't bother.
Taaj
www.taaj.org -
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Re: What do you think of this?
Mon, April 21, 2008 - 7:13 AM"I* think that this dancer is not as nice as she appears to be."
Right...it's called "passive-aggressive".
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Re: What do you think of this?
Mon, April 21, 2008 - 9:09 AMYes, I agree. That's why I am not even wasting time on her for that - she wouldn't see it my way, she would probably justify it that a new restaurant is uncharted territory, anyone can do anything they want. I think anyone can do anything they want anywhere - but there are rules of professional conduct, no?
I have never ever went into a restaurant or any venue to drop off my business cards and ask the owners to dance there. And I am proud of that. There's nothing wrong with going to a new place and intruduce yourself, but I was always told that if there are dancers there already, you talk to them. This way you respect the fact that they are already dancing there, you show them that you're not going behind their backs (this way no one can say you're trying to steal jobs) and you can also avoid undercutting.
I know a lot of people have different ideas and don't agree with this, but my teacher always said: wait for your turn! It will come to you! She was right!
Out of all the places I danced/dance at, either the owners came to me because another owner recommended me, (they all seem to be related, or know each other) or a dancer did.
I think I had told one dancer only that I already knew, that if she needs someone, I can sub. (This was after I brought her to the restaurant I was doing the schedule/dancing, after someone recommended her). Oh also, one customer recommended me at another place, gave my number to the owners, and then told me they wanted to talk to me, so I went to see them. There are so many places I wanted to dance at, but never did, because I would never want to go in there, knowing they have dancers. For one place I waited 3-4 years, but it was worth it (for me at least, and my dignity)
Recommendations work so well anyways - I think they make you look very good.
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Re: What do you think of this?
Fri, April 25, 2008 - 6:29 PM"I* think that this dancer is not as nice as she appears to be. I think people like her pretend to be nice so that they can be appalled when you call them on their behavior and play the innocent card."
Holy cow. Taj. You are *good* ...
... mmm hmm.
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Re: What do you think of this?
Thu, April 24, 2008 - 4:11 PMShe is not to be trusted, only cares about herself. Her actions speak loud enough. -
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Re: What do you think of this?
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 9:49 AMThank you everyone to help me trust my instincts. It's easy to think that I'm overreacting.
She came last night again! We said hello to each other, - I wasn't going to mention anything - this time no hipscarf, no zills, no business cards, only good behavior.
It all works out, but now I know.
The thing is I would never feel threatened by her - you might feel threatened by some dancers, and not others, if you know what I mean - but it was still shocking. -
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Re: What do you think of this?
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 9:35 PMCongrats! Sounds like it couldn't have turned out better!
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